I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
