so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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