im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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