Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
