In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
