He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
