If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
