remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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