There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
