he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
