I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
