how can u be prego again
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
