I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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