Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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