margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How naked do you want me to be?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
