GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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