So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
