I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
