It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
