Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
