In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
