If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
