why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
True strength comes from lack of pants
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
