When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
