we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
