Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
