My balls are so social today.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
