I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
