I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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