He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
