I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
