her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
