I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
