They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
