Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
