the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
