So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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