Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
