I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
