Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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