hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize