john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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