when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Never let your siblings swipe right.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
