It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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