so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
