i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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