Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
