I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We left the knife in your bed.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
