I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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