No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
