i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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