now i know why i became what i already was.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
