It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
