he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
