I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
