I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
