the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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