So gin and wine won't be happening again
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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