spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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