There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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