Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
