we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I want a musical about memes.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
